why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize