I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
