Operation Purity has been aborted
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
