There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
