And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
