I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
