hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and she was petting her beer can
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
