Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize