explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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