4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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