ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
