dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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