I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Screwed.edu
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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