remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize