I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
