dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I lost the right to judge tonight
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
