i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
