Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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