you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
