a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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