he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
