butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
