just tell him i said nine months
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize