Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
