Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
