If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
