he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
