Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
