i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
