Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
then he tried to convert me to islam
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
