Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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