i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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