Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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