as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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