The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
