The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
