One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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