my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
