just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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