I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
