I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
