SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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