Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
