you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
