are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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