im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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