She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
