ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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