You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
