i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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