I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
