am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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