did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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