You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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