dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
