It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
