Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
