oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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