Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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